I am watching my mind carry my spirit down, and the weight of the body follows, making it difficult to move forward, to move at all. I thought I would be living this time so differently than what is arising. I see how I set myself up by carrying the past, the joyful thoughts and feelings from another time, thinking they would play again when I landed in the same physical environment. Although so much has changed since then, and I have come with extra baggage, physical, mental and emotional. I, myself am not the same. I am very tired and that creates confusion.

What to do? How can I change?

The simplest thing for me now is that I can be grateful, rather than fearful and disappointed at how difficult the situation may seem. It is ultimately from the responses of my own mind that my life is created.  Since yesterday, I have walked by the most beautiful bouquet outside the area where we can enter the rooms here. When I arrived and saw it, I thought someone is keeping it cool for the program. But the program has begun, everything is ready and it is still here. This beautiful bouquet sends out such beauty and love each time I pass. It is truly a gift, it wakes me up to the beauty of the present moment. When I can live from this place I have a chance at trusting in the Universe, that it is unfolding as it should. And I have a chance at accepting, and creating the change needed to live fully in the reality of the present moment and be grateful for that alone.

OMMMMM Shantih Shantih Shantih!!